Vacation sex is liberating, whether you’re single, partnered up, or married. “Vacation mode” lets you switch off daily responsibilities for a trip, making you more receptive to new experiences. With inhibitions lowered and focus more streamlined, senses become heightened.
It’s a subconscious approach—coming at things with a more open mind. This runs the gamut from tasting new foods to new sexual experiences.
When there’s so much “newness” around you, that can be very stimulating. And sharing in new experiences with a partner actually creates emotional intimacy, says relationship coach Lee Wilson.
In fact, it not only strengthens intimacy, which is conducive for the long-term relationship, but, according to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, the novel interactions that accompany travel can generally produce a heightened state of arousal.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller surveyed Americans about their sexual fantasies for his book Tell Me What You Want. He found 83 percent had fantasized about sex in an exotic setting, such as on a beach, and 90 percent fantasized about having sex in a hotel.
“Beaches are strongly connected to romance and relaxation so that’s a go-to I suggest for many clients,” emphasizes Wilson. (Just be mindful of how private the area is; no one wants to be charged with indecent exposure.)
“Bed and breakfasts are romantic as well and tend to help you focus on your partner,” Wilson adds. “A vacation based on a shared hobby, such as scuba diving, photography, wine tasting, fishing, and horseback riding will increase emotional intimacy and that can often be a jumpstart to reviving your sex life as well.”
In addition to new environments and experiences, of course, there’s also the direct opposite: You’re breaking routine by abstaining from daily responsibilities, which often come as stressors and impede libido (think work, chores, kids, finances). “It can be great to be away from home and not be worried about doing the laundry, dishes, or what time the kids need to be picked up from soccer,” reiterates Tami Rose, sex educator and owner of Romantic Adventures, adult novelty store in Jackson, Mississippi.
This makes it almost second-nature, then, to not only relax and give in to your sexual desires, but also to break your routine when it comes to your sex life. “One thing I love about vacations is you’ll never see these people again,” says Rose. “So if you get caught kissing too long in the elevator or flash some flesh in front of an open window in a high rise tower, who will talk? No one. But the danger of getting caught doing something naughty in public is a big turn on for many people. It may ring your partner’s chimes in a whole new way.”
In this way, travel presents an opportunity to communicate with your partner as to what you desire and what works for you—then you can bring this back to your sex life at home. “It makes our partner seem new and different, yet we get to go home with them and experience them in comfort and familiarity as well,” says Rose.
Wilson adds, that since vacation often means more free time, this translates to more time for sex and while having sex.
“I suggest altering positions often,” he says. “Go from missionary to doggy style to cowgirl without trying to simply have an orgasm. Enjoy the act of sex itself and stay in the moment, rather than only thinking about where you are in terms of reaching climax.”
Once you experiment with your favorite positions, Wilson says you can make a game out of it, suggesting couples have sex for a given amount of time without the goal being to orgasm. “It’s amazing what that can do for a sex life,” he adds.
If you’re thinking about booking your next trip to spark fire, Rose leaves you with inspiration to choose a vacation spot that’s totally different from where you normally live. For example, if you’re living in a sleepy, rural suburb, opt for a long weekend in a lively environment, like Vegas, or vice versa. This will allow you an immersive getaway, which in turn leads to all those new happenings both in and out of bed.
Vacation sex packing list
Aside from attire that makes you feel confident, bring lube to extend pleasure, comfort, and duration. If you have sex toys you like to use—or better yet, sex toys you’ve been dying to try—tote them along in your suitcase. Vacation is the perfect time to take advantage of lowered inhibitions.
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